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St. Martin’s vision unrealized

St. Martin’s vision unrealized Posted on November 14, 20152 Comments

I want to share with you today the beauty of St Martin’s holiday.

In Germany it is the night where a light is passed from each train stop to a line of people leading to a town square or church.  Imagine an Olympic style torch passing a moment of peace from hand to hand.  I was looking forward to witnessing and being a part of this procession of lights for weeks.  A celebration that reminded us our humanity and reminded us to walk together to share the light of hope that would bring us out of darkness!

I learned that St. Martin was once a Roman soldier who was kind and led a simple life.  He was known to help the poor, even giving the cloak off his own back.  I hear that after the town procession there is mulled wine and other hot treats, followed by plans to feast.  To get an idea of the spread, St. Martin’s Feast is very similar to the American Thanksgiving end of harvest celebration.  Instead of roasted turkey there is goose or duck to grace the table!

Near me I found there were three possible dates, in nine different towns, that marked the festivities.  Some of the local towns celebrated on Martin’s Eve (November 10th), some celebrated on Martinmas (November 11), and I was happy to find one more for November 14th.

Except on each of those days last-minute errands and demands by loved ones robbed me of the opportunity to get in position.  By that I mean arriving early enough to find a parking spot that would allow me a quick getaway.  The worst feeling in the world is when you don’t feel like you have a choice.  Followed only by the feeling of being stuck between two or three obligations.

The third worst feeling is feeling like everyone is purposely trying to keep you from getting things done.

Which is absolutely not true.  It’s life.  Sometimes it gets in the way of the fun stuff.

It wasn’t a matter of failing to plan, I did let everyone know what my plans were.  It just didn’t register with anyone else that it might be important.

Thankfully I also know that what was being done or what was being asked of me wasn’t out of any vindictiveness.

Still it hurts because I feel like I am expected to pay attention to everyone’s needs above my own.  *huff puff* After everything was said and done I lost my lid and gave everyone a piece of mind.

I figured the day wouldn’t be a total waste if I was able to get something done.  So I decided to begin the semi-perilous journey of figuring out how to self host my blog into the late hours of the night.

Apparently I wanted this so badly I forgot to wear my glasses and gave myself a headache from the strain.

99 little bugs

When I took a break from fixing the last 12 posts so that all the links and photos look right, I realized I didn’t want to leave it alone.  Not all the files had transferred over and somehow that led to deep-seated fear that my site was going to disappear overnight.  No, I need to stay here and fix this… and that… and ohhh that widget too!

BUT I am going to let it go.

Why?

Because a photo appeared while I organizing my files.  It was a photo of my youngest son forcing himself to eat more than he could handle.

Who could blame him really?  I had never before seen this concoction that somewhere between a cookie and a homemade moon pie.  I told him it was okay.

If he was full he did not have to eat anymore.

He simply could not bear to leave the last two pastries.  They belonged in his mouth.  He was going to win this, if it took us all morning.

“Yes Lil Man, those pastries will not be there next time… but there will be other pastries.”

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Too many pastries! You take one down and pass it around, and two more show up on your plate!

It helped me to laugh and remember the good times in Dresden.

It was a good reminder to let go.

My plans this week experienced some setbacks.  It’s okay.  Today I gave a good effort and it fell short.

There will always be other events …and other pastries.

 

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